The Ravens suck, Joe Flacco sucks, and our season is over. This may not sound very substantial considering they beat the Dolphins 40-0 just three nights ago, but this is not nearly the same team that won the Super Bowl five years ago. 4-4 is not a bad record at this point in the season by any means. We’ll most likely end up going 7-9, barely missing the playoffs, only to repeat the whole process over again in 2018. Our lack of success right now, in my objective opinion, can 100% be placed on Joe Flacco. Luckily for the Ravens, I have devised a way for them to get rid of Flacco, avoid the cap hit, and escape the eternal limbo of being a fringe playoff team. Listen up, Ozzie*:

*Disclaimer: This article contains little to no actual football analysis. I have never played football in my life, but I got a 3 on my Statistics AP exam, so I’m basically qualified to be the GM of an NFL team.

Step 1: Addressing the Issue

In 2017, Joe Flacco is not an elite quarterback. Watch him lob a screen pass to Mike Wallace on 3rd and 12 for the 8437^th time and you’ll understand. Flacco has only played one season in which he accumulated more than 4,000 passing yards, Our defense carried him to a Superbowl, and he hasn’t been able to bring the Ravens to the playoffs since 2014. Pretty impressive, right? Couple all of that information with the fact that he has one of the worst contracts in the NFL, and you get a player that has stunted the Ravens’ growth for the past five years. Realistically, a 32-year old Joe Flacco is not getting any better. And let’s be honest, the Ravens’ real best weapon on offense right now is the GOAT Justin Tucker. Might as well accept that our best case scenario as a team right now is an early-round playoff exit with him at the helm.

After watching this dirty hit made by Kiko Alonso a few nights ago, I think it’s safe to say that Flacco joins the old Taylor and Gordon Hayward on the list of celebrities who have died in 2017. Our defense may be one of the best in the league (scoring 20 points yesterday off of turnovers is no joke), but Ryan Mallett is not going to win us any football games. Which leads me to step 2:

Step 2: Signing Colin Kaepernick

I don’t give a shit about Colin Kaepernick, but not in a, “how dare Colin Kaepernick kneel for the national anthem #alllivesmatter” kind of way. It’s absolute horseshit that he hasn’t been signed yet. He’s no Tom Brady, but he is definitely one of the 32 best quarterbacks in the NFL and would be a great replacement for Flacco for at the least the next few weeks.

The Ravens are no strangers to controversy; just look at Ray Rice and Ray Lewis. One of them was a face of the franchise when he beat his fiancee in an elevator, and the latter pled guilty to obstruction of justice in a DOUBLE HOMICIDE. That’s some Aaron Hernandez shit. Regardless, Ray Lewis is still regarded as one of the greatest Ravens of all time. This goes to show that people have no issue forgetting about controversy when it’s convenient, A.K.A. when the perpetrator can really play.

Obviously, Colin Kaepernick has the potential to be a PR nightmare. However, if he leads the Ravens to the playoffs, he would be regarded as a hero. Considering the fact that half of the team knelt for the week three game against Jacksonville, I am sure that he would be welcomed to the Ravens organization with open arms, by the players at least. You and I both know that whoever the Ravens sign would be signed to eventually replace Flacco, but for the time being, Ozzie can just say that he is on a tryout until Flacco gets healthy.

If he plays well, then we can keep him and let him play for the starting spot. If not, we can cut him after a week or two and everyone will understand. But for the sake of this article, let’s just say he plays well.

Step 3: Trading Flacco

Joe Flacco’s contract sucks. But why pay him $20 million a year when we can let someone else pay him their entire salary cap? If the Texans can get rid of Brock Osweiler, we can definitely find suitors for a quarterback with a Super Bowl under his belt. Unfortunately, I doubt that the Browns would bite, but another team like that would be perfect. Once we trade Flacco away, we will have all of that cap room to sign some big name free agents. Guys like Alshon Jeffery, LeVeon Bell, and Larry Fitzgerald are all Unrestricted Free Agents in 2018 and could propel the Ravens offense to where it needs to be. We will never be an offense-first type of team, but if we can put a few offensive touchdowns on the board each game, then our defense should put us in a position to win football games.

So there you have it. It’s not a perfect plan, but I would rather watch the Ravens make an actual attempt at solving their problems than wait until 2020 to try and win football games. Best case scenario, we can be a Super Bowl contender in a few years. Worst case scenario, we gave it a shot. Trust the process, baby.

Sunday night’s fog-filled Super Bowl rematch doubled as the Patriots’ best win of the season. Most importantly, the defense was able to shut down the Falcons, a team with a lot of talent on the offensive side of the ball. That being said, this was far from a statement win. The 3-2 Falcons have been sputtering after winning three in a row to begin the season. In week five, Atlanta blew a 17-0 halftime lead at home to the Miami Dolphins, who outscored them 20-0 in the second half. Given the way that the Falcons played on Sunday, I have a hard time giving the Patriots too much credit. It was a good win because the Falcons are a good team on paper, and the Patriots defense has struggled greatly up to this point, but they will have to play just as well against far better competition if the Patriots have true Super Bowl aspirations.

Strengths

Malcolm Butler

There is no doubt that Butler’s play this season has been impacted by the big offseason acquisition of cornerback Stephon Gilmore. After the undrafted Super Bowl XLIX hero played himself into being one of the top cornerbacks in NFL, it must have shaken his confidence to see $65 million given to a Buffalo Bill. Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels acknowledged this in the broadcast booth during Sunday night’s game as matter of fact, despite being mere speculation up to this point in the season. It comes as no coincidence that Butler has played much better in the two weeks that Gilmore has missed with a concussion. On Sunday, he was very effective in man coverage, breaking up a pass in the end zone on third and goal early on in the fourth quarter, and recording six tackles including a big hit in the backfield to break up a Tevin Coleman rush. Butler’s play has been encouraging for two straight weeks, and hopefully this trend continues as Stephon Gilmore likely makes his return to the lineup this Sunday.

Third Down Offense

The Patriots offense was extremely effective on third down on Sunday, converting seven of thirteen attempts. Third down efficiency was one of my biggest concerns following the Edelman injury in the preseason. Thus far, Brady and the offense have proven me wrong, converting on 45.65% of their third down attempts, good for third best in the league. While converting on third down has been an issue at times this season (5-15 against the Chiefs in week one and 4-12 against the Buccaneers in week five), they have been effective for most of the season and especially in the last few weeks. Brady and his group of receivers have really stepped it up on third down. Brady’s statistics in situations of third and six or more have been best that they have been in the post-Garoppolo era (since 2014). He currently has a 65.1% completion percentage and a 124.0 quarterback rating on third and long. The offense has truly stepped it up on third down to help mitigate Julian Edelman.

Offensive Line/Running Game/Dion Lewis

The offensive line has played well for a second straight week, allowing two sacks for just eight yards and giving the Patriots the opportunity to run the ball effectively. On Sunday, New England rushers combined for 162 yards, the most all season, on an average of 4.5 yards per rush. The running game has been indicative of the improvement in offensive line play, as the Patriots have rushed for at least 100 yards in the last three games. This only happened once last year, excluding the four games that Brady missed due to suspension, and it was in the last three games of the season when the Patriots may have been looking to take some heat off of their then-39 year old quarterback. It is also not a coincidence that in the three weeks, Dion Lewis has been given a larger role and has emerged as the lead back, for now. Lewis has the capacity to be electric, and has the ability to jumpstart the offense. Last year’s AFC divisional game against Houston could have been a much different game if it weren’t for Lewis’ kickoff return touchdown. On a team that is so reliant on the passing attack, Lewis should remain the Patriots’ primary back, unless he needs to be preserved to avoid injury.

Negatives

Stephon Gilmore

The defense has shown improvement over the course of the last two weeks, as Gilmore has been sitting out with a concussion. Butler’s aforementioned recent success is almost certainly a product of Gilmore missing time. It is never a good sign when commentators are debating starting Johnson Bademosi over a healthy Stephon Gilmore. However, Gilmore should be in the starting lineup this Sunday, and should be in man coverage against Tyrell Williams, the bigger receiver in the Chargers’ group of wideouts.

Containing Opposing Offenses

The defense has had some uncharacteristic issues so far this season. They are currently last in yards allowed per game and yards per play. While it is not surprising that the Patriots are giving up a lot of yards, they typically do not allow big plays. Even though New England finished 25th in yards allowed in 2016, they were tied for eighth in yards per play. Similarly to allowing big plays, the Patriots have failed to contain quarterbacks this year, unlike their history of handily being able to do so. On Sunday, Matt Ryan rushed for 37 yards on three attempts. Allowing rushing first downs to Matt Ryan is extremely problematic for a defense that hangs its hat on discipline. The amount of big plays and lack of containing lead me to question the players’ reaction to coaching on the defensive side of the ball. These are not issues of talent, but rather issues of executing defensive schemes coached up by Belichick and defensive coordinator Matt Patricia. If the defense is unable to do that, there are bigger issues than just Stephon Gilmore and problems in coverage at hand.

Next Week: Home vs. Chargers

The Chargers have won three straight after beginning the season 0-4. Three of their four losses have been by three or fewer points, and two were lost on missed last second field goals. On defense, they have the formula to beat the Patriots; they are able to pressure the quarterback without blitzing. The Chargers are currently tied for fourth in the NFL in sacks with 23. Defensive ends Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram both rank in the top six in sacks with 7.5 and 8.5 respectively. This will be a big game for the offensive line, especially for center David Andrews and guards Joe Thuney and Shaq Mason. If the Chargers are able to get pressure up front, it will be a long and painful game for Tom Brady.

Prediction: Patriots 27, Chargers 24