Baseball was a huge part of my life growing up. Little League Baseball had to be some of the best times of my life, and despite playing little league before things got more serious, there were always kids with whom one could always tell what position they were destined to play. With spring and little league drafts right around the corner, I figured that I would analyze little league stereotypes by position. These interpretations are taken from my experiences growing up in the little league farm system, set at around 8-10 years old before anything gets too serious.
Pitcher: Pitchers are typically great athletes. In little league, you find yourself on the mound for one of two reasons: you can get the ball over the plate, or you throw extremely hard. Watch out for the guys who throw extremely hard; they often lack accuracy and you can end up taking a shot in the numbers.
Catcher: This kid almost always has ridiculously long hair, for reasons unknown. Can also be the more obese kid who no one really knows where to put because he is far too un-athletic to put in the outfield
First Baseman: This dude is the biggest kid on your team and also happens to be extremely uncoordinated. When hitting, he’s typically in the 4-7 spot, and when he makes contact, the ball tends to fly out really far. However, his strikeout percentage is higher than his batting average.
Second Baseman: This is the smallest guy on the team. In terms of baseball ability, the man on second usually isn’t too bad but also has the potential for one of those five-error days. This kid would have potential to be a really good player if he was about 5 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier.
Shortstop: Best athlete and overall stud on your team. When he’s not on the baseball field, this is the kid who is out at one of the three other sports he plays and excels at. When he gets older, he is going to be at least a two-sport varsity athlete in high school and have the “hottest girlfriend” while still managing to somehow make honor roll every semester.
Third Baseman: This is the kid who may not be great at fielding but boy does he have an arm. He may be a little on the chubbier side but this kid can also rake. He’s kind of nuts, has a lot of anger issues and is definitely going to the military or into law enforcement where he can get his anger out.
Left Field: This is the kid who kind of just shows up to games because it’s something to do. He’s not really good but he isn’t the worst player either. He has the stigma of the kid who tries to be cool all the time but is going to be a degenerate as he gets older because he doesn’t work hard at anything.
Center Field: This guy is usually a good athlete but not really a great baseball player. He is one of the funniest kids you will ever meet because his natural skillset will allow him to get away with cracking jokes. The center fielder is usually going to be one of the most liked kids on the team. A lot of the time this guy ends up starring in another sport, like being a soccer player, and a being really good one at that.
Right Field: This guy is a waste of space. He bats last, maybe gets a foul tip or two a season and is almost always on the team just because his parents force him to go outdoors and play baseball. He is scared of the ball and no one understands why because he is never even close to the ball. His parents can also be kind of delusional and request more playing time for who knows what reason when they know their kid already doesn’t want to be there.